It does not matter whether you are dating, newlyweds, or a couple that has been married for years. Conflicts will inevitably occur in relationships, and healthy conflicts are a sign of a healthy relationship. Many of us refuse to engage in healthy conflict, however, insisting instead that we are right and the other person wrong in the strongest possible terms. This type of black-and-white view must be avoided in order to maintain a healthy and stable relationship.
The first step in handling conflict is knowing what your buttons are, and those of your spouse or partner. Most people will have conflict in one of three big areas, finances, sex, and raising kids. When these important topics come up (and they inevitably will) it is important that both of the participants in the discussion be aware that this area has a long history of causing conflict in the relationship, and begin the discussion with the resolve to try and see the other person’s point of view and present your own in a logical manner.
When conflict arises, avoid negating the other person’s point of view. Do not take the stance of “I just know”. Try to demonstrate why it is you think what you are stating, and listen carefully when your partner offers a rebuttal. Demonstrate that you have listened to what they have to say by repeating some of their statement.
Try to stay on topic- that is, discussing the immediate problem- as much as possible. Try not to make blanket statements such as “You always do this” or other harmful sayings. Also, do not ever degenerate into name calling. Even using strong language in the form of swear words will tend to cause the other person to shut out any message you are trying to send. Avoid any physical forms of intimidation, as people are naturally inclined to become defensive in such scenarios. This is particularly hard for men, who may not realize that what they think may be just outletting their frustration (ie slamming a hand on a table) is actually very intimidating to their partner.
There are definite deal breakers when it comes to conflict. Neither partner should ever physically approach the other in an argument, especially when it is becoming a heated one. If the argument is really degenerating, it is very important to have the strength to walk away for a cool down period- odds are you are way off topic anyway by that point, and nothing at all will be resolved.
The final outcome in a conflict within a relationship should be that you and your partner are reconciled to each other. The problem must be solved within a reasonable time, the best is before the day is out. Letting problems fester is the worst possible route to take, as the conflict will inevitably occur again in the future. Finally, be prepared to say you are sorry, it will show that you care more about the relationship than the issue.
Porche Reingold maintains a website dedicated to helping people improve relationships.
If you have recently found yourself fretting over your child’s waistline, you are not alone. The youth of today are fatter than ever before, and parents are starting to panic. Why are our kids so big, and what should we do about it?
Childhood obesity has been described as an epidemic. It puts our children’s health at risk, making them more susceptible to problems involving their cardiovascular systems, endocrine systems, and even their mental health. Type 2 diabetes mellitus, depression, and low self-esteem are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the problems looming over the heads of our overweight children.
It is ironic that both the problem and the solution to this heavy problem boil down to one simple equation. Energy In vs. Energy Out. When more energy is consumed than is utilized, the result is fat storage. In short, our kids eat too much and do too little.
Energy In
The Problem: Parents today are busier than ever before, navigating through hectic schedules with convenient fast food restaurants lurking on every corner. Our kids are eating more fried, processed, and sugary foods than we did as children due mainly to the convenience factor. These foods are laden with excessive calories that result in weight gain.
The Solution: Take time to evaluate your children’s diet. Do they eat three balanced meals a day? Do they eat at least 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day? Are they limited in their servings of fried, processed, and sugary foods? Avoid buying sugar-filled snacks while grocery shopping, fill your cart with fresh, healthy snacks instead. Make time to plan family meals so that you don’t find yourself in another drive thru.
Energy Out
The Problem: Computers, video games, and satellite T.V. are our children’s latest and greatest toys. Who has time to play outside when you are about to beat the hardest level, or your favorite show is about to start? Our kids participate in less physical activity and are more sedentary than any generation before.
The Solution: Limit the time your children spend on sedentary activities, such as T.V and video games. Sign your kids up on a local sports team so that they can run and be active with other kids. Take the whole family to the park on a weekend instead of gathering in front of the T.V.
As a parent, it is your unique responsibility to teach your children the healthy habits that lead to good health. Children who are obese have a greater chance of remaining obese into adulthood, thus greatly increasing the likelihood of serious health problems. Talk to your children about their eating habits, and activity levels, informing them of good choices versus bad choices. Make it a family effort to start eating healthier and increase physical activities, and you will be pleasantly surprised with the results!
Diana Keuilian, author, ACE certified Personal Trainer, and co-founder of HitechTrainer.com offers online personal training and nutrition programs that fit your budget and schedule. Whether your goal is to lose weight, firm and tone, or to build muscle, HitechTrainer.com will build a custom designed program just for you.
Visit: http://www.hitechtrainer.com/ and begin meeting your fitness goals today!